The Mastery of Life Blog

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Letting go: One of the most important skills you can ever learn

Have you ever had a time when you actively resisted something? Then, for whatever reason, you let go of the resisting and said, “The heck with it.” Notice what happened. Instantly, everything changed. The fear, upset, and tunnel vision disappeared. You restored your inner peace and your ability to see clearly. Solutions appeared and this area of life started clearing up.

Life always works when we let go of the resisting. It’s only when we get the ego involved that life stops working. It’s the resisting and hanging on that sabotages our lives. You remove the resisting through a process called “letting go.” To see how the process works, let’s look at the nature of fear.

Fear is an inner state and is created by resisting a future event. The more you resist the future event, the bigger your fear. The bigger your fear, the more you feel threatened. The more you feel threatened, the more you act destructively, which causes your fear to come true.

When you are in a state of fear, you get tunnel vision and lose your ability to see clearly. All you can do is fight, resist, hang on and withdraw. Almost anything you do in this state makes your situation worse. To be free of the tunnel vision and to have a problem area clear up, get rid of the fear.

To have a fear lose it’s power, do the opposite of what creates it. Instead of resisting the future event, be willing for the event to come true — not in your actions, but in your heart. In your actions, do everything you can to make sure your fear doesn’t come true, but in your heart, be willing. “If it happens it happens. I’ll deal with it.”

When you are willing for your fear to come true, the fear loses power. Instantly, the tunnel vision disappears. You see your situation clearly and can see what needs to be done. You become very effective. This is letting go.

Letting go is strictly a state of mind and is totally separate from your actions. Letting go is the inner technique that removes the fear, upset, and tunnel vision so you can see what action you need to take. So be willing. Be willing for your fears to come true and for your situation to never change. Restore your inner peace and your ability to see clearly. Then take whatever action you need to do to have your life be great.

The ability to let go is one of the most important skills you can ever learn. It is one of the keys to creating an incredible life. It’s also easier said than done. To make letting go easier, there are two things you can do. Trust that you will be okay no matter what happens and be willing to feel your hurt. We will talk more about this in the next two newsletters.

If letting go is difficult, let me walk you through the healing process. You can also watch the Mastery of Life Video Course and read the book, Get Your Power Back.

30 years of doing this work

This Sunday is the 30th anniversary of the day I closed my law practice and started doing this work full time. Since then, I have led over 3,000 workshops and speaking engagements. I have written 8 books, including re-writes, and have had thousands of consulting appointments. That’s a lot of people. I hope to be doing this for another 30 years. Thanks for all your love and support.

Why the past keeps repeating itself

Life doesn’t just happen. We interact with life in a very specific way which produces a very specific result. When you change how you relate to life, you change what happens around you.

Look at your life and notice that there are certain areas of your life that don’t work. These areas of suffering may clear up from time to time, but they keep coming back. They keep coming back because we create them.

These areas may seem to be the problem, but they are not. They are the symptom. If you have a relationship, or any other area of life that isn’t working, there will always be an underlying condition that is creating the problem.

This condition creates a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision. It makes us defensive. It destroys our ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior. Ultimately, this underlying condition is created and fueled by the automatic, subconscious avoidance of a very specific suppressed hurt. Here is how it works:

When you were born, you were pure love, but you were born into a world that suppresses this state. You then got hurt and got hurt a lot. As a little child, you couldn’t help but blame yourself. “Clearly I’m the problem.” In a moment of deep hurt, you created the belief that you were worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, a failure, or some other form of feeling not okay.

It’s never the truth that we are this way, it’s just an old hurt, but it’s a hurt that totally runs our lives. Any circumstance that triggers this suppressed emotion is perceived subconsciously as a threat. To avoid this perceived threat, we fight, resist, hang on and withdraw. We destroy love and create more suffering.

Every area of life that doesn’t work and every self-sabotaging behavior pattern can be traced directly to this hurt. Finding and healing this suppressed emotion is one of the most important things you can ever do. Until you heal it, you will be forced to repeat the past.

Fortunately, healing this hurt relatively easy. The moment this happens, you restore your ability to see clearly. Solutions appear and life starts clearing up.

The best way to heal this hurt is to let me walk you through the healing process. You can also watch the Mastery of Life Video Course and read the book, Get Your Power Back. To learn more about these underlying conditions, click here.

Create a life of prosperity

When we get upset about money, we think that the problem is the lack of income, but this is seldom the case. Most of the people in this world would love to have our level of income. The problem is how we handle the money that we have. Most of us overspend.

We use every resource available to raise our standard of living. The result is a lifestyle where expenses can equal or exceed our income. When this happens, you can expect to be upset. No matter what your income is, it will soon be gone. You will never have enough. This creates a consciousness of lack which then produces more lack.

Now notice what your prosperity consciousness would be like if you took 10% of everything you earned since you were eighteen years old and invested it wisely. What would your prosperity consciousness be like? You would be wealthy and your prosperity consciousness would be one of abundance.

So why do we overspend? We overspend in an attempt to get more of what we want. But no matter what we have, it will never be enough. We always want more. We are driven by our wants and our wants are insatiable. You can never get enough of what you want because the void you are trying to fill isn’t outside of you, it’s inside, and it can only be filled from within.

We overspend in a subconscious attempt to make life be a certain way. We do this so we won’t have to feel the hurt of a core issue. For example, if someone is running from failure, that person will tend to overspend in order to feel like a success. Unfortunately, overspending creates more failure.

To heal this inner void and to remove the need to overspend, find the hurt that drives your insatiable wants. What would it say about you if you lost everything: your job, your home and all your possessions? Dive into this hurt and feel it willingly like a child. Own this part of you.

Get to the place where you are totally willing to have nothing. When you are truly willing to have nothing, something very special happens. You become very thankful for everything you have, and you have a lot.

When you deeply appreciate what you have, you experience a profound state of abundance. This in turn produces more abundance. When you focus on what you have, what you have grows. When you focus on what you don’t have, what you don’t have grows.

True prosperity is spending less than you earn and appreciating what you have.

This article was taken from lesson 28 of the Mastery of Life Ecourse.

Are you willing to be vulnerable?

For most people, the thought of being vulnerable is very threatening. We think this will open us up to getting hurt. Actually, it’s the other way around. Being vulnerable is your greatest protection. When your walls of protection are down, you radiate love. This dissolves opposition and resistance against you. Getting hurt then becomes a lot less likely.

Look in the face of someone who has little or no walls of protection. What do you see? The words that you would use to describe this person are the same words that you would use to describe the experience of love. They are the same words because this person is radiating love.

Now find someone whose walls are thick. Notice how uncomfortable you feel. This person is pushing away love. The same thing happens when your walls are up. You push away love. You also create an environment where people can’t be themselves around you. Then they put up their walls and become negative in return.

When two people in a relationship have their walls up, a heart to heart connection becomes very difficult. Instead of creating a relationship of love, they create one of conflict and distance.

When you are willing to be vulnerable, people feel safe around you. Their put down their walls and automatically express love in return. When you have two people expressing love, you have a great relationship.

We keep our walls up because we think this will somehow protect us from the hurt, but what side of the wall is the hurt on? The hurt we avoid isn’t outside of us. It’s inside. Our walls don’t keep the hurt out, they keep the hurt in. Instead of protecting us, they push away love and sabotage our lives.

Being willing to be vulnerable is one of the keys to a great life. It’s also a state of mind. Like letting go, it’s totally separate from your actions. You can be vulnerable and still say no and do whatever you need to do. Just do it with love.

Be willing to be hurt again and again. Trust that you will be okay no matter what happens. Open your heart and express your love. As you do this, you change the world around you. You bring out the best in people and you create a life full of love and joy. You are also a lot less likely to be hurt.

To see a video on this, check out our recent newsletter. You can also subscribe to our newsletter.