On the surface, we resist certain circumstances, but at a deeper level, we don’t resist the circumstances. We resist all the feelings and emotion that the circumstances trigger. We don’t notice this emotion, but it is certainly there.
To see this in your life, find a time when you have been upset. Then look under the upset and notice the hurt. It’s the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this hurt that makes life uncomfortable. It also destroys your ability to find solutions and it forces destructive behavior.
If you ever find yourself in a difficult situation, the top priority is to free yourself of this negative emotion. The moment you do this, you restore your peace of mind and your ability to see clearly. Solutions appear and this area of life starts clearing up.
The best way to learn how to release negative emotion is to look at little children. When children get hurt, they cry and cry. Then, when they finish crying, there is no more hurt. They are able to release their emotion quickly because they do something that we don’t notice. They feel their hurt willingly. This allows the negative emotion to come, run its course, and go.
Find a time in your life when you were hurt and you cried and cried. Then, after you finished crying, you felt a wonderful freedom. This is a time when you felt your hurt willingly like a child.
When it comes to hurt, you don’t have a choice about feeling it. You will. Your only choice is to feel it willingly or unwillingly. When you feel it willingly, it comes and goes quickly. When you feel it unwillingly, it turns into pain and it stays.
More specifically, you can either feel your hurt as a victim of your circumstances or you can feel it deliberately, because you want to reach in and pull it out. When you feel your hurt as a victim, you can cry hours a day for months and have little or no healing. If you take the same hurt and feel it deliberately, because you choose to, you can have a major healing in minutes.
To heal your hurt, separate your circumstances from the emotion. Notice that the circumstances are outside of you and that the emotion is inside. Then dive into the hurt. Feel it deliberately and purposefully. Let the hurt come and let it go.
If a circumstance of life triggers a hurt that you are willing to feel, that circumstance will have no power over you. If a circumstance triggers a hurt that you are unwilling to feel, that circumstance will have total power over you.
If you find it difficult to release a negative emotion, you are probably dealing with the deeper, childhood hurt of feeling worthless, unlovable, not good enough, failure, or some other form of feeling not okay. If you want support in healing your hurt, give me a call.