The Mastery of Life Blog

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The new year provides a window of opportunity for change

For most of us, the holidays are so full of activities and requirements that we can no longer live our lives the same way. The distractions and influences are so powerful, they pull us out of our reality.

Eventually the holidays end and we go back to our normal lives, but now something is different. Our reality has been disrupted and is a little unsettled. This creates an opportunity to change both our reality and our lives. This opportunity for change gets magnified by the fact that we are entering a new year.

15 seconds to a great life

I had a profound experience a few days ago that I want to share with you. I woke up discouraged. It seemed like my life’s work was over and there was nothing I could do about it. I was negative and my thoughts seemed to be the absolute truth of the universe.

Then I noticed that I was having an emotion called “being discouraged.” This was just a feeling and nothing more than a body sensation. To release this negative emotion, I dove into it and felt it deliberately and purposefully. I magnified the feeling and exaggerated it.

Are you focusing on the symptom or the cause?

I recently had a session with a husband and wife that were deep in the process of a contested divorce. Each had their point of view about how things should be handled and each person’s point of view was valid. As they fought to have their points of view prevail, the cycle of conflict escalated dramatically.

There was so much upset and defensiveness that neither person could hear what the other was saying. Instead of looking for solutions, all the focus was on fighting and resisting. They couldn’t see that the conflict and suffering was their own creation. It was a symptom, not the problem.

Perhaps this is what life is all about

In the last week or so, I experienced the passing of some very special people. I didn’t know these individuals personally, but they were special in the lives of my family and friends. This morning, it happened again. A beautiful light in the world just lost his battle with cancer.

For some reason I was deeply moved. The loss brought up lots of sadness. It also put me back in touch with how totally irrelevant our circumstances are. Compared to life, our circumstances are absurdly meaningless. The only thing that matters is the experience of love.

How to be free of guilt

Guilt is very destructive. It reduces your self-respect and undermines your relationship with yourself. It makes you feel undeserving and shrinks your capacity to receive. It takes away your confidence and fuels the deeper core issues that destroy love and sabotage your life.

Being free of guilt is very important. Fortunately, this is relatively easy to do. It’s easy because guilt is never, never caused by what we did. Guilt is something that we add later with the benefit of hindsight. It is only when we see the consequences of our actions that we add guilt.