Articles from May 2011

Every area of life that doesn’t work and every self-sabotaging behavior pattern can be traced to the automatic subconscious avoidance of a very specific hurt from the past.

This hurt is the childhood hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, a failure, or some other form of feeling not okay. It’s not the truth that we are this way. It’s just an old hurt. But it’s a hurt that we will do anything to avoid feeling.

Any circumstance that triggers this hurt is perceived subconsciously as a threat to our survival. To avoid this threat, we fight, resist, hang on and withdraw. We operate in a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision. This in turn destroys love and sabotages our lives.
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Feeling hurt is not enough to release it. It’s how you feel it that determines whether the hurt comes or goes. Usually we feel our hurt at the effect. We feel like a victim of our circumstances. All the focus is on what happened.

When you are in this state, the circumstances have total power over you. You then feel your hurt in a way that prevents it from releasing. You can cry hours a day and still have plenty of hurt.

The key to releasing emotion and restoring your effectiveness is to separate the circumstances from the emotion. You do this by noticing their different locations. The circumstances are outside of you. The emotion is inside.
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