Articles from November 2013

When we get upset, we think that our circumstances are the problem, but they’re not. The problem is the emotion that’s being triggered by our circumstances. It’s the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this emotion that gets us in trouble.

Unfortunately, we don’t notice the emotion. All we notice are the circumstances that trigger it. Our circumstances are then perceived as a threat. In an automatic attempt to avoid this perceived threat, we put all our focus is on changing our situation. We do this so we don’t have to feel our hurt.

This narrow focus creates a state of tunnel vision. It destroys our ability to find solutions and it forces destructive behavior. Since we feel threatened, all we can do is fight, resist, hang on or withdraw. This in turn makes our situation worse. Instead of finding solutions, we magnify the problem.
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