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We live in a world where all the focus is outside of ourselves. This is particularly true in the area of relationships. The only thing we notice is how the other person treats us. Then we act accordingly. If the person is loving and supportive, we’ll be loving and supportive. If the person is judgmental and critical, we will do the same. We treat the other person according to how that person treats us.

We make the other person responsible for the presence or absence of love. When we do this, we lose our power and there is no telling what will happen. It’s like Russian roulette. Maybe the relationship will work and maybe it won’t. Most of the time, it won’t. If you want your relationship to be great, it’s up to you. You can’t rely on the other person.

The key to creating a great relationship is to make sure the other person feels loved, accepted and appreciated.
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It seems like more than ever, people are struggling in some area of their lives. Since so many people are suffering, I thought it would be helpful to give you some tips on how to be more effective in difficult times. This is important because how you relate to a difficult situation determines your mental well-being, your effectiveness, and how long the difficult time lasts.

To be most effective, there are things to do on the inside and action to take on the outside. The most important is the inner work. Restore your inner peace. When you have inner peace, you see your situation clearly and can see what needs to be done. When you are full of fear and upset, you can’t see anything. You shut down and lose your ability to find solutions. You get tunnel vision and tend to make your situation worse.

If you are in a difficult situation, your top priority is to get rid of the fear and upset. This is the key to being effective. You do this through a process called letting go. The next step is to create a plan of action. (more…)

What changes do you want in your life? How do you want your life to be? What problem areas do you want to get resolved? What passion do you want to pursue? Take a few minutes and do some daydreaming. What is the possibility and the opportunity for your life?

This is important because creating possibility changes how you relate to life. When you are in touch with the possibility of something special, you become very positive and full of energy. Life becomes an exciting adventure. You have direction and purpose, a reason to wake up in the morning.

Find a time when you had the possibility of something special happening in your life: a new relationship, a new job opportunity, or something else that you were excited about. Notice how it felt to go for this possibility. Notice the joy it brought.
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At any moment, your life is exactly the way that it is. This is true no matter how you feel about it. When you are at peace with the truth of the way your situation is, you become very effective. You may not like what’s happening but you see your situation clearly and can see what needs to be done. Look at the areas of your life that work great. These are areas where you can flow with whatever happens.

Now look at the areas of your life that don’t work. These are areas where you can’t flow. Instead of focusing on what needs to be done based on the facts, all the focus is on fighting the facts. When you do this, you create a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision. You destroy your ability to see what needs to be done and you interact in a way that magnifies the problem.

Restoring your peace and your ability to see clearly is the key to handling a difficult situation. It’s also the key to being effective in life. You restore your peace and effectiveness through a process called letting go.
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There was a day a while back when I was grumpy and life wasn’t much fun. I was discouraged and negative. Then I went to lunch and saw an old friend. We hugged each other and I experienced a powerful burst of love. All of a sudden, life was wonderful again. I was happy, alive, and very positive. Life was a joy and opportunity was everywhere.

Nothing changed in the realm of circumstances, but everything changed in me. One moment I was in the darkness and in the next moment, I was in the light.

When you are in the light, you feel good about yourself and good about life. You also have a very positive attitude. You are positive in your thinking, your speaking, and your actions. You then radiate this positive energy into your life and great things happen around you. This is the realm of love, joy, peace, happiness, and miracles.
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