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Someone sent me the following question:

“I love your e-course lessons so far. I am having some trouble with lesson #19. I am confused about being willing to be hurt again and again. What situations is it good to do that and which ones aren’t? Thank you for your help.”

Here is my response:

It is always important for you to be willing to be hurt. It is also important for you to be willing for every one of your fears to come true — Not in your actions, but in your heart. In your actions, do everything you can to make sure these things don’t happen, but in your heart, be willing. “If it happens it happens. I’ll deal with it.” This restores the fear and restores your inner peace. You your situation and become far more effective.
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Whenever you are faced with a difficult area of life, the most important thing you can do is to restore your peace of mind. This is important because when you are full of fear and upset, you lose your ability to see clearly. You get tunnel vision and destroy your ability to find solutions. Almost anything you do in this state makes your situation worse.

The moment you restore your inner peace, everything changes. The tunnel vision disappears and you see your situation clearly. You can find solutions and this area of life begins to clear up. To restore both your peace of mind and your effectiveness, take the following steps:
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Have you ever noticed that there are certain areas of your life that consistently don’t work? Do the same self-sabotaging behavior patterns and the same upsets keep showing up in your life?

These conditions keep showing up because we create them. We interact with life in a very specific way which produces a very specific result. When you change how you relate to life, you change what happens around you.

The areas of life may seem to be the problem, but they’re not. They are the symptom of something deeper. There will always be an underlying defense mechanism that is creating the problem. This subconscious mechanism creates a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision. It destroys love and forces us to act in a way that sabotages our lives.
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We live in a wilderness of illusion where all the focus is outside of ourselves. We are convinced that happiness and upsets come from our circumstances. We then go through life trying to force our circumstances to be a certain way.

We think that this will somehow bring us the happiness that we seek, but it doesn’t. It fact, it brings us the opposite. Instead of creating a life of happiness, it creates a state of fear, upset and suffering.

Fortunately, there is another way to live. There are actually two totally opposite realms of life. There is the realm of circumstances and the realm of love.
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Have you ever been depressed? It’s no fun. When you are depressed, you become very negative. You have no energy and no confidence. There is no peace of mind and no hope. You are in a very dark place. Does this sound familiar?

Life is very painful when you are in this state. You lose your ability to find solutions and become very ineffective. Fortunately, there is something you can do about it. You can be free of depression and you can get your life back.

Depression may seem to be caused by your circumstances, but it’s not. It is the result of how you relate to your circumstances. There may also be chemical aspects of depression, but for now, we are just going to talk about the mental aspects.
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