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We are born with full potential and possibility, but in the process of growing up, we start shutting it down. Here is an example.

Little children have no concept of being dirty. A young child can easily play in a mud puddle and have a great time. But then the mother comes along and is furious at the child. She yells and punishes the child severely. The child then experiences a very painful loss of love.

This hurt is so painful it gets suppressed. This suppressed emotion then becomes associated with being dirty. From that moment on, dirty is considered to be bad and if there is enough hurt, the child can even develop a fear of being dirty. In any event, dirty has just been eliminated as a possibility in the child’s life.
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Any area of your life that isn’t working is an area where you have lost your power. Instead of being on top of this area of your life, this area of life is on top of you. Fortunately, this is a state of mind that can easily be reversed. To learn how, let’s look at how you lost your power.

At any moment, you are totally at the effect of the world around you. No matter what happens, you will react accordingly. At the same time, the world around you is totally at the effect of you. No matter what you do or don’t do, the world around you will respond to you. This makes you the cause.

You are both “the cause” and “at the effect.” You are the creator of your life and the victim. You are both at the same time, but you only experience yourself as being one or the other.
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When you are full of fear, you become very ineffective. You lose your ability to see clearly and tend to make your situation worse. So how do you get rid of fear?

To answer this question, let’s look at the nature of fear. Fear is created by resisting a future event. For example, if I have a fear of losing someone, I am resisting the future event of possibly losing the person.

The more I resist losing the person, the bigger my fear. The bigger my fear, the more I feel threatened. The more I feel threatened, the more I hang on and push the person away. This is the nature of fear. Whatever you fear, you tend to create.
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Have you ever been verbally attacked by someone? It hurts and our natural reaction is to fight it, but this is the worst thing you can do.

Fighting what someone has to say doesn’t make the person’s upset go away. It gives it more power. The person gets more upset and blasts you even more. Then you get more upset and resist the other person even more. This quickly evolves into a cycle of conflict, where everyone gets hurt.

The key to avoiding this is simple. Listen. Instead of fighting what the person has to say, pull it out of the person. When you do this, the upset loses power.
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Every area of life that doesn’t work and every self-sabotaging behavior pattern can be traced to the automatic subconscious avoidance of a very specific hurt from the past.

This hurt is the childhood hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, a failure, or some other form of feeling not okay. It’s not the truth that we are this way. It’s just an old hurt. But it’s a hurt that we will do anything to avoid feeling.

Any circumstance that triggers this hurt is perceived subconsciously as a threat to our survival. To avoid this threat, we fight, resist, hang on and withdraw. We operate in a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision. This in turn destroys love and sabotages our lives.
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