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Almost everyone has a relationship or an area of life that isn’t working. These problem areas seem to be the result of another person or our circumstances, but they are not. The problem areas of life are not the problem. They are the symptom.

If you have any area of life that isn’t working, there is an underlying condition of resisting or hanging on that is either creating the problem or destroying your ability to resolve it. This condition makes us defensive and creates a state of fear and upset. It destroys our ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior.
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The happiness we seek

We have been taught that happiness and upsets come from our circumstances. We then go through life doing everything we can to make people and life be a certain way. We fight, resist, hang on, and withdraw. We think this will somehow bring us the happiness we seek, but it doesn’t. It creates more suffering.

As long as we try to get happiness from outside of ourselves, we are guaranteed to destroy love and sabotage our lives. The happiness we seek is not outside of us. It’s inside.
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Guilt seems to be caused by what we did, but this is an illusion. Guilt is never caused by what we did. Guilt is something that we add later. We add guilt after we learn the consequences of our actions. This is good news because if guilt is something we created, it’s something we can heal.

The first step in releasing guilt is to find something you did that you feel guilty about. Then go back in time to the moment you did whatever you did. At that moment, didn’t you have a very particular state of mind and didn’t you see life in a very particular way? Weren’t your actions a direct result of this limited awareness?
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Follow these ground rules and watch what happens.

7. Handle what doesn’t work
When an aspect of your life isn’t working, you lose your aliveness and peace of mind. Unworkability exists because we tolerate it. List all the items in your life that aren’t working and handle each one as fast as you can. Clean up your environment, your relationships, your health, and your finances. Handle every aspect of your life that isn’t working.

8. Let go of resentment
Forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s for you. When you resent, a part of you closes down inside. You become bitter and lose your ability to love. Resentments are a subconscious tool that we use to avoid hurt. Once you are willing to feel your hurt, the need to resent disappears. You can then forgive. Forgive the person for not being wiser and more aware. Forgive the person for acting consistent with his or her limited ability.
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Life doesn’t just happen. We interact with life in a very particular way which produces a very particular result. When you change how you relate to life, you change what happens around you.

Follow these ground rules and watch what happens.

1. Be positive
The words you speak and the thoughts you accept determine how you see life. You then act consistent with the way you see life and life responds accordingly. If you want a life that works, don’t speak negatively or accept negative thoughts about yourself, other people or your life. Don’t speak or think negatively unless you want your words and thoughts to come true.
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