The Mastery of Life Blog

When we get upset, we think that our circumstances are the problem, but they’re not. The problem is the emotion that’s being triggered by our circumstances. It’s the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this emotion that gets us in trouble.

Unfortunately, we don’t notice the emotion. All we notice are the circumstances that trigger it. Our circumstances are then perceived as a threat. In an automatic attempt to avoid this perceived threat, we put all our focus is on changing our situation. We do this so we don’t have to feel our hurt.

This narrow focus creates a state of tunnel vision. It destroys our ability to find solutions and it forces destructive behavior. Since we feel threatened, all we can do is fight, resist, hang on or withdraw. This in turn makes our situation worse. Instead of finding solutions, we magnify the problem.
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Ultimately, the problem areas of life are never the problem. They are the symptom of something deeper. They are the symptom of an underlying condition of resisting or hanging on. This condition destroys our ability to find solutions and forces us to act in a way that magnifies the problem. Here is how it works.

If you have a relationship or any area of life that isn’t working, there is a truth that you are fighting. Something is the way it is and you are resisting it. You may be resisting a particular characteristic in someone or not having enough money to pay the bills. You may be resisting the possibility of something happening.

When we fight the truth of the way something is, we create a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision. We also destroy our ability to see what needs to be done. Here is an example that demonstrates this.
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My brother said something to me once that has always stuck with me. He said that God doesn’t particularly care what happens outside of us because that doesn’t really matter. What matters is what’s inside of us. As a result, we are brought what we need and not necessarily what we want.

This is a profound truth because life is constantly bringing us the circumstances that we need for our healing and our growth. We may not recognize it at the time, but this is what’s happening.

I have certainly had my share of difficult times and I have survived every one of them. Not only have I survived them, but every difficult time has been followed by something great. I had a healing, an awareness, or a change that made my life much better.
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One day I was a little discouraged. All I could see were my circumstances. I was negative and a little grumpy. Then I went to lunch and ran into an old friend. It was such a joy to see each other. All of a sudden, my happiness and aliveness came back. I was back in the light.

The shift from my being out of the light to my being back in the light was so fast and so dramatic, it gave me a great opportunity to compare the two states.

When you are in the light, you are in the experience of love. You are happy, alive, and free. The circumstances of life have no power over you. You have a very positive energy and great things happen around you. When you are in this state, life works incredibly.
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What do you see when you look in the face of someone who is totally willing to be vulnerable? You see love and happiness. The words you would use to describe this person are the same words that you would use to describe the experience of love.

When the experience of love is present, life works. You are happy, alive and free. You feel good about yourself and good about life. You radiate a very positive energy and great things happen around you. This is the essence of who you are.

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, this experience of love comes forth. People feel empowered around you and great things happen. You also vaporize opposition and resistance.
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