The Mastery of Life Blog

Love by itself is never enough to have a relationship work. The divorce courts are full of people who love each other. The key to having a relationship be great is to make sure the other person feels loved. You do this by making sure the person feels loved, accepted, and appreciated just the way the person is.

Notice how it feels when someone genuinely accepts and appreciates you. Doesn’t this feel great? Of course it does. You feel loved and empowered. You feel better about yourself and your life. You also feel better about the person who accepts and appreciates you. You then give love in return.
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There was a day a while back when I was grumpy and life wasn’t much fun. I was discouraged and negative. Then I went to lunch and saw an old friend. We hugged each other and I experienced a beautiful burst of love. All of a sudden, life was wonderful again. I was happy, alive, and very positive. Life was a joy and opportunity was everywhere.

Nothing changed in the realm of circumstances, but everything changed in me. One moment I was in the darkness and in the next moment, I was in the light.
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Upsets seem to be caused by what happens, but this is an illusion that creates tremendous suffering. Upsets are not caused by what happens. Upsets are a state of mind and can only exist if we fight what happens.

To see this in your life, find time when you were upset. Then notice that something happened and it happened whether you liked it or not. Now notice what would happen to the upset if somehow, you were at peace with what happened. The upset would disappear. It would disappear because upsets can only exist if we fight what happens.

So why do we fight what happens? We fight what happens because our circumstances hurt. They trigger all sorts of emotion that we don’t want to feel. It’s the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this emotion that creates our upsets and sabotages our lives. It destroys our ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior.
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I didn’t know it at the time, but much of my life had been spent running from failure. I did everything I could to become a success. Then there was a point when I purchased a significant amount of real estate. I did this right before the market collapsed.

As a result, I lost everything. I lost my investments, my office, and even my home. This was a very difficult time for me, but it ended up being one of the most valuable. It put failure in my face like never before and this is exactly what I needed.
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At any moment, you are either on top of life or life is on top of you. When you are on top of life, you have power. You see clearly and can chart your course. You are creative and effective. You can make things happen and have your dreams come true. When life is on top of you, the opposite happens. You are powerless. You lose both your confidence and your energy.

When you are in this state, it is very difficult to make anything happen. You are negative and ineffective. Any area of your life that isn’t working is an area where you have lost your power. That’s why it’s not working. Fortunately, it is relatively easy to get your power back. To learn how, let’s look at the Law of Cause and Effect.
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