How to Resolve Disputes Fast
Disputes are normal. It’s how we attempt to resolve them that makes the difference. Watch the video and learn how to resolve disputes fast.
See the latest posts from Bill Ferguson
The purpose of our work is to give you the awareness, the skills, and the support you need to create a great life. Send us your questions and post your comments. To be notified of new blog posts, subscribe in the section to the right.
Disputes are normal. It’s how we attempt to resolve them that makes the difference. Watch the video and learn how to resolve disputes fast.
The nature of upsets
When we get upset, it looks like the upset is caused by what happened, but this is an illusion. Upsets are not caused by what happened, they are caused by fighting what happened. To see this in your life, find a recent upset. Then notice what would happen to the upset if somehow, you were at peace with what happened. The upset would disappear.
The upset would disappear because it is not caused by what happened. It is caused by fighting what happened. The moment you stop fighting what happened, the upset can no longer exist. You restore both your inner peace and your effectiveness.
Continue Reading »
When you discover the possibility of something, you can see what needs to be done. You can then take effective action and can make your life a little better. When you don’t see possibility, you can’t take action and your life stays the same.
Possibility is always there. We just need to look for it. So imagine. What is possible for your life? How do you want your life to be? Invest a few minutes and do some daydreaming. Keep looking and looking. Get clear on what you want. Then go for it.
The childhood hurt that keeps life from working
Every one of us has a hurt from the past that sabotages our lives today. This hurt makes us defensive and destroys our ability to see clearly. It creates upset and forces destructive behavior. If you have any relationship or any area of life that isn’t working, this area of suffering can be traced directly to the automatic, subconscious avoidance of a very specific hurt.
Here is how it works. When we were young, we were happy, alive, and free, but we soon collided with our culture. We experienced rejection, invalidation, and painful loses of love. Look at your life and notice the hurt that you experienced as a child.
Continue Reading »
Guilt seems to be caused by what we did, but this is an illusion. Guilt is never caused by what we did. Guilt is something that we add later. We add guilt after we learn the consequences of our actions. This is great news because if guilt is something we create, it’s something we can heal.
The first step in releasing guilt is to find something you did that you feel guilty about. Then go back in time to the moment you did whatever you did. At that moment, didn’t you have a very particular state of mind and didn’t you see life in a very particular way? Weren’t your actions a direct result of this very limited awareness?
Now notice what would have happened if you knew then what you know today. Wouldn’t you have handled your situation in a very different way? Of course you would, but you didn’t know then what you know today. Continue Reading »