The Mastery of Life Blog

Every one of us has a childhood hurt that destroys love and sabotages our lives. Fortunately, this hurt can be found and removed. Here is how this hurt gets created:

When we were young children, we were pure love. We were happy, alive, and free, but we were born into a world that suppresses this state. As a result, we got hurt and we got hurt a lot. We experienced rejection, invalidation, and painful losses of love. As little children, the only way we could explain these painful losses of love was to blame ourselves. “Clearly I’m the problem.”

In a moment of deep hurt, we decided that we were worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, a failure, or in some other way, “not okay.” It wasn’t the truth, but in the eyes of a little child, it became our truth. It was the only explanation that made since at the time.
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When we get upset, all the focus is on our circumstances. Something happened and we don’t like it. Unfortunately, we are so focused on what happened outside of us, we don’t notice what is happening inside of us. We can’t see that we are full of negative emotion.

This emotion takes over. It destroys our ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior. Instead of making decisions and taking action based on facts, our actions are determined by emotion. This destroys our inner peace, our effectiveness, and our happiness. Fortunately, it is possible to release this emotion.

The best way to see how to do this is to look at little children. They are masters at releasing negative emotion. When they get hurt, they cry and cry. Then, when they finish crying, there is no more hurt. They are able to release their emotion because they do something that we don’t notice. They feel their hurt willingly. This allows the hurt to come, run its course, and go.
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The COVID-19 virus is growing and the economy is collapsing. Many of us are losing our jobs and the world is turning upside down. We have to make important decisions and we need to take action. Unfortunately, we don’t know what to do. In this state of uncertainty, we become full of fear and upset.

This inner turmoil makes us very ineffective. It destroys our ability to see clearly and keeps us from seeing what needs to be done. We feel threatened and get tunnel vision. We become negative and tend to act destructively. Sometimes we freeze and can’t do anything. A prolonged state of upset weakens our immune system and produces tremendous suffering.

If you want to be effective in handling a difficult situation, you have to get rid of the fear and upset. The moment this happens, the turmoil disappears. You see your situation clearly and can see what needs to be done. You can then take action based on facts instead of emotion.
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My wife and I have a cat and that cat won’t bark. I can yell at the cat and plead with the cat, but no matter what I do, the cat still won’t bark. That’s the truth. If I am at peace with this truth, I will see my situation clearly and can see what needs to be done. If I want to hear barking, I can get a dog.

If I am fighting the truth, the opposite happens. All my focus will be on the cat. I will be convinced that the cat is the problem, but the cat is not the problem. The cat is just the cat. The problem is my fighting the truth.

When I fight the truth, I make my situation worse. Instead of focusing on solutions, my focus is on resisting. This creates a state of fear and upset. It destroys my ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior. I won’t see the possibility of getting a dog and I will create a nightmare in my relationship with the cat.
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There are two realms of life. You can live in the light or the darkness. When you are in the light, the circumstances of life have no power. You are full of love and life works incredibly. When you are in the darkness, the circumstances of life have total power. You lose who you are and life becomes a struggle.

When you are in the darkness, the experience of love is irrelevant. Nothing matters except our circumstances. The focus is on making life be a certain way. We fight, resist, hang on and withdraw. This is the realm of fear, upset and suffering.

When you are in the light, the circumstances are irrelevant. The only thing that matters is love. When you are in this state, life is about letting go, healing and connecting with God. This is the realm of love, joy, peace, happiness and miracles.
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