Depression is no fun. When you are depressed, you shut down and become very negative. You have no energy and no confidence. You lose your power and become very ineffective. There is no peace of mind and no hope. You are in a very dark place. Does this sound familiar? Life is very painful when you are in this state. Fortunately, there is something you can do about it. You can be free of depression and you can get your life back.
Depression may seem to be caused by our circumstances, but it's not. It's the result of how we relate to our circumstances. There may also be chemical aspects of depression, but for now, we are just going to talk about the mental aspects, and most depression is mental.
Here is how it works: Something happens that strikes a nerve. We lose a relationship, a job, or some other major change takes place. These circumstances trigger a childhood hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, failure, or some other form of feeling "not okay."
It's not the truth that we are this way, it's just a suppressed emotion, but it's an emotion that we will do almost anything to avoid feeling. Usually, we are able to push this emotion back down, but sometimes the circumstances of our lives are so overwhelming, we can't.
These circumstances are then perceived subconsciously as a major threat. In an automatic attempt to avoid this threat, we do two things that result in depression. We withdraw from life and we become "at the effect."
We withdraw
When you are active in life, you tend to be happy. You have momentum and the energy to make things happen. You are also in a place where solutions and opportunity show up. Life is a lot more enjoyable when you in this state. When you withdraw, the opposite happens. You close down inside and stop taking action. Your energy drops and your negativity grows. You stop getting new thoughts and life doesn't work as well.
Another way to see this is to imagine being in the deep part of a lake. As long as you are swimming, you stay above water. As soon as you stop swimming, you start to sink. The same thing is true about life. As long as you are moving forward, you stay on top of life. When you stop moving forward, you start to sink.
If you are depressed, notice how much you have withdrawn from life.
We become "at the effect"
At any moment, you are totally at the effect of the world around you. No matter what happens, you will react accordingly. At the same time, the world around you is totally at the effect of you. No matter what you do or don't do, the world will react to you. This makes you the cause.
You are both "the cause" and "at the effect" at the same time, but you only experience yourself as being one or the other. When you are "at cause," you are on top of life. You are confident, energetic, and very effective. When you are at the effect, you feel powerless. Life is on top of you.
To see an example of living at cause, find a time when you were "at the effect" of something and for some reason, you decided that you had enough. You reached your limit and decided to take action. You then grabbed your situation by the horns and started handling it.
Notice how you felt the moment this happened. Instantly you got your power back. Your circumstances didn't change, but instead of your situation being on top of you, you were on top of your situation.
When you are living at cause, you are very effective. This is also the natural state, but there is something we do that destroys it. We fight our circumstances. When we do this, we give our circumstances total power. We make ourselves a victim and put ourselves "at the effect."
Depression is created by the combination of withdrawing and being "at the effect."
Set yourself free of depression
Fortunately, depression can be reversed. The key to being free of depression is to do the opposite of what creates it. Here are basic the steps:
Find and heal the hurt.
Ultimately, depression is fueled by the automatic, subconscious avoidance of a very specific hurt. This hurt is the suppressed childhood hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, or some other form of feeling "not okay." As you heal this hurt, the need to withdraw and be “at the effect” loses power. Learn more.
Be active.
Do the opposite of withdrawing. Get with friends and be out in the world. Find things you like to do and do them often. Exercise and have fun. This may take a lot of energy at first, but once you get going, it will be hard to stop.
Get your power back.
To get your power back, find the specific circumstances that you are resisting. Then let go of the resisting and surrender to the truth of the way your situation is. Restore your inner peace. Then look to see what needs to be done based on the facts. Create a plan and start taking action. The moment you do this, you get your power back.
Something else that helps
Another way to avoid depression is to start looking for what's possible in your life. What great things can happen? How do you want your life to be? What can you work towards? When you focus on what’s possible, your energy becomes positive instead of negative. This takes the power out of depression. It's hard to be depressed when you are full of positive energy.
You can be free of depression. You can restore both your peace and your effectiveness. Problem areas can clear up and you can create an incredible life, but you need to know how and you need to take the steps.
If you have the desire to heal and get on with your life, I can show you how. Give me a call. We can talk about your situation and see what needs to be done.
Are you having a difficult time? Do you have a painful relationship? Do you feel stuck or depressed? Does the past keep repeating itself? Would you like to have these areas clear up? You can!