Transforming the Quality of Life
Chapter 1 - The Underlying Condition
Life doesn’t just happen. If you have a relationship or any area of life that isn’t working, there is something under the surface that is either creating the problem or destroying your ability to resolve it.
This underlying condition creates a state of fear and upset. It makes you defensive and keeps you from seeing clearly. It keeps you from finding solutions and forces destructive behavior. In relationships, it creates conflict and destroys love.
The moment this condition is removed, you restore your ability to see clearly. You can then take action based on facts instead of emotion. Solutions appear and this area of life starts clearing up. To see how this condition works, let's look at the nature of reality.
There is a huge difference between the reality of life and our reality. When we look at life, we think we are observing the truth of the universe, but we are not. We are observing our truth.
In the reality of life, things just are. What happened is what happened. What's so is what's so. Period. Then there is our reality. Our reality consists of thoughts, feelings, emotion, and points of view. There is the truth and there are our feelings about it.
The truth and our feelings have nothing to do with each other. They are never, never connected in reality. They are only connected in our mind. In reality, our circumstances are the way they are and our feelings about it are totally irrelevant.
To see an example of this, find a time when you were upset. Didn't something happen? Yes. Something happened. That's the truth. It happened, and your feelings about it were totally irrelevant. No matter how upset you were, the event still happened. Your feelings may affect your future actions, but they don't change the truth. What happened still happened.
Now notice what would happen to the upset if you were at peace with what happened. The upset would disappear. It would disappear because upsets are not caused by what happens. Upsets are a state of mind and can only exist if we fight what happens.
Take a moment and let this in. Look at the upsets in your life. Then notice that each upset was caused by fighting what happened, not what happened. This is important, because once you really get this, it will change your life.
When you are at peace with the truth of the way something is, you have peace of mind. You may not like what you see, but you see clearly and can see what needs to be done. Look at the areas of your life that work great. These are areas where you can flow with whatever happens. You are very effective.
Now look at the areas of your life that don't work. These are areas where you can't flow. Instead of focusing on what on what needs to be done based on the facts, the focus is on fighting the facts. This destroys your ability to find solutions and forces destructive behavior. Here is an example that demonstrates this.
My wife and I have a cat and this cat won't bark. I can yell at the cat and plead with the cat, but no matter what I do, the cat still won't bark. If I am at peace with this fact, I will automatically put my focus on what needs to be done. If I want to hear barking, I can get a dog. I will automatically look in a direction where solutions and opportunity show up.
If I am fighting the facts, the opposite happens. Instead of looking for solutions, all my focus will be on the cat. I will be convinced that the cat is the problem, but the cat is not the problem. The cat is just the cat. The problem is my fighting the truth.
When I fight the truth, I get upset and destroy my ability to see clearly. All I can do is fight, resist, hang on, or withdraw. I won't see the possibility of getting a dog and I will create a nightmare in my relationship with the cat.
This is what’s happening in any area of your life that isn't working, there is a cat that isn't barking and you are fighting it. Instead of focusing on solutions, the focus is on resisting. Instead of resolving the problem, you make it worse. Look at your life and see that this is true.
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Are you having a difficult time? Do you have a painful relationship? Do you feel stuck or depressed? Does the past keep repeating itself? Would you like to have these areas clear up? You can!
The best way to do this is to schedule a session with Bill Ferguson. You can also get the Mastery Course.
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You will be glad you did.