I feel hurt all the time, why doesn’t it go away?

Feeling hurt is not enough to release it. It’s how you feel it that determines whether the hurt comes or goes. Usually we feel our hurt at the effect. We feel like a victim of our circumstances. All the focus is on what happened.

When you are in this state, the circumstances have total power over you. You then feel your hurt in a way that prevents it from releasing. You can cry hours a day and still have plenty of hurt.

The key to releasing emotion and restoring your effectiveness is to separate the circumstances from the emotion. You do this by noticing their different locations. The circumstances are outside of you. The emotion is inside.

We think that the circumstances and the emotion are connected, but they are not. They may be connected in our mind, but they are not connected in reality. The moment you notice that the circumstances and the emotion are separate, the circumstances lose power. You still have the emotion, but now you are in the driver’s seat.

The next step is to dive into the hurt and cry it as hard as you can. Fell it deliberately and purposefully. Feel it because you want to. Reach in, grab it, and pull it out. If there aren’t any tears, fake the tears. Faking the tears coupled with an exaggeration of the emotion is just as powerful as the real tears.

Feel the hurt of what happened and the deeper childhood hurt of feeling worthless, not worth loving, not good enough, or whatever your deeper hurt is. Learn more

When you feel your hurt deliberately rather than at the effect, you allow the hurt to come and go quickly. You also feel on top of your circumstances. You release the negative emotion and can see what needs to be done. You literally get your power back.

If you do this and the hurt continues, you are avoiding the deeper hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough or some other form of feeling not okay. We’ll talk more about these core issues later.