It’s the emotion that gets us in trouble

When we get upset, we think that our circumstances are the problem, but they’re not. The problem is the emotion that’s being triggered by our circumstances. It’s the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this emotion that gets us in trouble.

Unfortunately, we don’t notice the emotion. All we notice are the circumstances that trigger it. Our circumstances are then perceived as a threat. In an automatic attempt to avoid this perceived threat, we put all our focus is on changing our situation. We do this so we don’t have to feel our hurt.

This narrow focus creates a state of tunnel vision. It destroys our ability to find solutions and it forces destructive behavior. Since we feel threatened, all we can do is fight, resist, hang on or withdraw. This in turn makes our situation worse. Instead of finding solutions, we magnify the problem.

To be effective in handling a situation, you need be free of the fear, upset and tunnel vision. The moment you do this, you restore your ability to see clearly. You may not like your situation, but you can see what needs to be done. You can then take effective action. Solutions appear and this area of your life starts clearing up.

The key to accomplishing this is relatively simple. Get rid of the negative emotion and restore your inner peace. You do this by releasing the hurt that’s under the upset.

To see an example of this, look at little children. Little children are masters at releasing hurt. When they get hurt, they cry and cry. Then, when they finish crying, the hurt is all gone. They are able to release their hurt quickly because they do something that we don’t notice. They feel their hurt willingly. This is the key to healing hurt.

Dive into it and feel it willingly like a child. Feel it deliberately and purposefully. Reach in, grab it, and pull it out. If there aren’t any real tears, fake the tears. Feel the hurt of the circumstances and the hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, or whatever your core issue is. Let the hurt come and let it go.

While you are feeling your hurt, make sure you feel it deliberately and purposefully. Feel it because you choose to, rather than as a victim of your circumstances. This allows the hurt to come and go quickly. Your upset loses power and you restore both your peace and your effectiveness.

If you want more support in healing your hurt and restoring your effectiveness, give me a call and schedule an appointment.