Make sure the other person feels loved

Love by itself is never enough to have a relationship work. The divorce courts are full of people who love each other. The key to having a relationship be great is to make sure the other person feels loved. You do this by making sure the person feels loved, accepted, and appreciated just the way the person is.

Notice how it feels when someone genuinely accepts and appreciates you. Doesn’t this feel great? Of course it does. You feel loved and empowered. You feel better about yourself and your life. You also feel better about the person who accepts and appreciates you. You then give love in return.

Then the other person feels empowered and feels even better about you. Then you feel more empowered and become even more appreciative of the other person. Then the other person does the same. Without planning it, you create a cycle of loving, supporting, and appreciating each other that brings out the best in everyone.

This is the key to having any relationship be great, but this is not what we normally do. We tend to treat the other person based on how that person treats us. If the person gives us love, we’ll give love. If the person is judgmental and critical, we can do that too.

Each person is responsible

The problem with this is that everyone makes the other person responsible for the presence or absence of love. This is like sailing a ship with no one at the helm. When no one is making sure the experience of love is present, there is no telling what will happen. Usually, relationships don’t last.

Instead of giving acceptance and appreciation, we become judgmental and critical. When we do this, we destroy the experience of love. Notice how you feel when someone is judgmental and critical of you. It hurts. We put up our walls of protection and automatically become judgmental and critical in return.

Then the other person gets upset and does the same. Instead of creating a cycle of love, we create a cycle of conflict – a cycle of hurting, attacking, and withdrawing from each other. Instead of bringing out the best in each other, we bring out the worst.

This is what happens in most relationships, but it doesn’t have to. You can have a relationship that is loving and supportive. The key is to make sure the other person feels loved, accepted, and appreciated.

You can create a great life

It is possible to be happy, alive, and free most of the time. Relationships can heal, problem areas can clear up, and you can create a great life, but this won’t happen by itself. There are concepts to learn, issues to heal, and action to take. Fortunately, the process of transforming your life is relatively easy, but you have to know how. I can walk you through the steps.