The happiness we seek. Where is it?

The happiness we seek

We have been taught that happiness and upsets come from our circumstances. We then go through life doing everything we can to make people and life be a certain way. We fight, resist, hang on, and withdraw. We think this will somehow bring us the happiness we seek, but it doesn’t. It creates more suffering.

As long as we try to get happiness from outside of ourselves, we are guaranteed to destroy love and sabotage our lives. The happiness we seek is not outside of us. It’s inside.

The experience of love

Prior to the pandemic, we did weekend workshops. During the workshops, we did an acknowledgement exercise where participants created a cycle of loving, supporting, and empowering each other. The result was a beautiful state of love and oneness. People experienced a connection with each other and with life that was beyond words.

Then we looked at the nature of this state. People discovered that in this state, the circumstances of life are irrelevant and have no power. Fear and upset cannot exist. Even the ego and the concept “me” disappear. All that exists is love.

When you are in this state, you are experiencing the essence of who you are. You are happy, alive, and free. You are confident and creative. You radiate a very positive energy and great things happen around you. When you are in this state, life works incredibly. You are also living in the light.

Find a time when you were in the light and notice how good this felt. Notice the peace you had and how effective you were. Isn’t this the happiness that we seek? Of course it is. This is what we want in our relationships and in our lives.

Another example

One day I was very discouraged. All I could see where my circumstances. I was negative and grumpy. Then I went to lunch and saw an old friend. It was such a joy to see each other. All of a sudden, my happiness was back and I was back in the light. In an instant, my life was wonderful again.

My circumstances didn’t change, but I did. The shift from being in the realm of circumstances to being in the realm of love was so fast and so dramatic, it provided a powerful contrast between the two states. Living in the light is obviously a lot more enjoyable. It’s also easier said than done.

There are a number of factors that pull us out of the light and keep us in the realm of circumstances. The biggest one is our inability to flow with life. A good way to see this is to look at the nature of upsets.

The nature of upsets

Find a time when you were upset. Didn’t something happen? Yes. Something happened. That’s the truth. It happened. Notice how totally irrelevant your feelings were. No matter how upset you were, the event still happened.

Now notice what would happen to the upset if you were at peace with what happened. The upset would disappear. It would disappear because upsets are not caused by what happened. Upsets are a state of mind and can only exist if fight what happens.

The moment we get upset, life stops working. We shut down inside and act destructively. We lose our ability to see clearly and to find solutions. We also become very negative. We then radiate this negative energy into the world around us and guess what shows up – negative circumstances.

Look at the areas of your life that work great. These are areas where you can flow with whatever happens. You see clearly and can see what needs to be done. Now look at the areas of your life that don’t work. These are areas where you can’t flow.

Why do we fight the truth?

We fight the truth because the truth hurts. It triggers a suppressed hurt from the past. To avoid this hurt, we act in a way that destroys love and sabotages our lives. Every area of life that isn’t working can be traced directly to the automatic, subconscious avoidance of this hurt. Finding and healing this hurt is one of the most important things you can ever do.

Fortunately, it is possible to heal this hurt. You can live in the light and you can create an incredible life, but this won’t happen by itself. There are concepts to learn, issues to heal, and action to take. I can walk you through the steps.

A great way to start is to schedule a free 30-minute session with me. We can talk about your life and create a plan of action. You can also get our Mastery Course. This 50-lesson program walks you through the process of transforming your life.