The key to being effective in difficult times

The COVID-19 virus is growing and the economy is collapsing. Many of us are losing our jobs and the world is turning upside down. We have to make important decisions and we need to take action. Unfortunately, we don’t know what to do. In this state of uncertainty, we become full of fear and upset.

This inner turmoil makes us very ineffective. It destroys our ability to see clearly and keeps us from seeing what needs to be done. We feel threatened and get tunnel vision. We become negative and tend to act destructively. Sometimes we freeze and can’t do anything. A prolonged state of upset weakens our immune system and produces tremendous suffering.

If you want to be effective in handling a difficult situation, you have to get rid of the fear and upset. The moment this happens, the turmoil disappears. You see your situation clearly and can see what needs to be done. You can then take action based on facts instead of emotion.

Fortunately, restoring your inner peace is a relatively easy thing to do. This is because fear and upsets are states of mind and are not caused by our circumstances. They are caused by fighting our circumstances.

To see this in your life, find a time when you were upset. Then notice how totally irrelevant your feelings were. No matter how much you hated what happened, it still happened. Now notice what would happen to the upset if somehow, you were at peace with what happened. The upset would disappear. The moment you stop fighting your circumstances, the upset ceases to exist.

At any moment, what so is always what’s so and our feelings about it are totally irrelevant. When you are at peace with the truth of the way your situation is, you see your situation clearly. You may not like what you see, but at least you can see it. You can then take action based on the facts instead of emotion. This makes you very effective.

Now let’s look at fear. Fear is also a state of mind. It is created by resisting a future event. For example, if I have a fear of losing someone, I am resisting the future event called losing the person. The more I resist losing the person, the bigger my fear. The bigger my fear, the more I am threatened. The more I am threatened, the more I act destructively. I hang on and push the person away.

To have a fear lose its power, you have to do the opposite of what creates it. Instead of resisting the future event, be willing for it to happen: not in your actions, but in your heart. In your actions, do everything you can to make sure it doesn’t happen, but in your heart, be willing. “If it happens, it happens. I’ll deal with it.” The moment you become willing for a fear to come true, it loses power.

To be free of the fear and upset, you have to stop fighting what’s so. Be willing for your fears to come true and for your situation to never change. You create this willingness through a process called “letting go.”

Letting go is a state of mind and is totally separate from your actions. Letting go is the inner technique that removes the fear, upset, and tunnel vision so you can see what action you need to take. The moment you let go, you restore your ability to see clearly. You become creative and able to discover solutions that you could never have seen before.

There are two steps to letting go. The first and most important step is to be willing to feel all the emotion that is being triggered. This is important because it’s the automatic avoidance of this emotion that forces us to resist. We think we are avoiding our circumstances, but we are not. We are avoiding the emotion that is being triggered by our circumstances.

To see this emotion, put yourself in an upset. Then notice where the upset is located. Is it outside of you in the realm of circumstances or is it inside? It’s inside. It’s a body sensation. Now notice all the feelings and emotion. If you are willing to feel this emotion, your circumstances will have no power. If you are unwilling, your circumstances will have total power.

The second step to letting go is to trust. Trust that you will be okay no matter what happens. Even if your greatest fears come true, know that you will be fine. When you know that you will be okay no matter what happens, letting go becomes relatively easy.

Ultimately, trust is a choice. It is something you create. It’s a declaration. “I will be okay no matter what happens. I trust, just because I say so.” Trust is also telling the truth. You have had tough times before and you have made it through every one of them. If you are in a tough time now, this too will pass. Life is only threatening when you resist. So stop resisting and trust.

If you are engaged in your spirituality, a powerful way to let go is to give your situation to God. Life works much better when you do this.

Here are the steps you can take to be free of your fear

1 – Make a list of all your fears. Then find the very specific circumstances that you are avoiding.

2 – Go to the emotion that is under each fear. Then dive into it. Feel it willingly like a child. Cry it as hard as you can. Exaggerate it. Do everything you can to get this emotion out of you. Let it come and let it go. Feel it because you want to rather than because you are forced to. When you feel the hurt willingly, it goes. When you feel it unwillingly, it stays.

3 – Work with each fear until you are willing for the fear to come true. This restores your inner peace. Remember, willingness is a state of mind and is totally separate from your actions.

4 – Look to see what needs to be done based on facts instead of emotion. Then create a plan and start taking action. The moment you let go of the fear and start taking action, you get your power back.

Another way to stay in peace is to find things you can do that recharge the batteries to your soul. Some people do this by being in nature or doing yoga. Other people get restored by meditating, reading, or participating in religious services. I make the connection by going for long walks and listening to certain music. Find things that you love to do and do them often.

We don’t have much choice about what is happening around us, but we do have a choice about how we relate to what is happening. Our job is to restore our inner peace and then take whatever action is needed to be safe and have our lives be great. Our job is to let go, trust, and keep taking the next step. Eventually, the storm will pass.

I hope this article has been helpful. If you want more support, consider scheduling an individual consulting session with me. You can accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. If you want to learn more about how to create a great life, get our Mastery of Life Video Course. I look forward to hearing from you.